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Why Most Sales Emails Fall Flat (And How to Write One That sells)
- renaealk
- Apr 1, 2024
- 7 min read
A client recently asked me to review his sales email. He wanted something that converts — something that would make buyers stop scrolling and actually click.
Here’s how his draft began:
“I want to thank you in advance for taking the time to read my email. My name is Andrew Money, of the Money Pen Company, and I would like to introduce you to a growth opportunity for your business — by offering a variety of custom-made pens.”
Technically, it’s polite. But it’s also… boring.
It opened like a formal letter to a stranger — stiff, cautious, and forgettable. It didn’t sound like a maker who loves his craft. It sounded like a spam folder waiting to happen.
So we spiced it up.
Here’s the new version:
Imagine offering your customers a pen with a story—crafted from whiskey barrels, historic stadiums, or legendary landmarks. My name is Andrew Money, owner of the Money Pen Company, and I’d love to introduce you to a unique way to captivate your audience with our handcrafted, custom-made pens. Let me know if you'd like to explore how these pens can set your business apart!
Now that feels like a maker speaking from passion. It paints a picture, stirs curiosity, and gives the reader something to imagine. Suddenly, it’s not a pitch — it’s an invitation.
That’s the magic difference between a flat sales email and one that actually converts: connection over copywriting.
In this post, we’ll break down exactly how to do that — how to write handmade-business emails that sound human, tell stories, and spark action without ever sounding salesy.
Because when you’re selling something crafted by hand, your words should feel just as intentional as your work.
The Core Principles (For All Sales Emails)
Whether it’s a launch, holiday promotion, or restock, every great handmade sales email includes these five ingredients:
A Hook That Feels Human
Start conversationally, not corporate. You’re a maker, not a marketing department.
“There’s something about freshly sanded walnut that still surprises me…”
or
“You know that moment when a pen just glides across the page?”
A Story Before the Sale
People buy meaning before they buy merchandise.
Share the “why” — the story behind the material, design choice, or inspiration.
“This batch started with a single block of cocobolo wood that reminded me of bourbon barrels — rich, warm, and full of history.”
A Clear Offer (With a Reason to Act)
Include specifics: what’s new, how many, when, or what makes this drop special.
“Only 10 available, and they’ll go live Friday at noon EST.”
A Visual or Sensory Element
Photos, GIFs, or just a few lines that help people see or feel the product.
“Smooth brass hardware, balanced weight — the kind that makes you slow down and savor each word.”
A Natural Call to Action
Skip “BUY NOW.” Go for friendly clarity:
“See the new collection,” “Explore the full series,” or “Find your favorite before they’re gone.”
Email For Potential New Customers
(Curious but Not Yet Buyers)
Your goal: spark connection + curiosity.
Tone: Welcoming, story-driven, and visually rich.
Goal: Build trust and show personality before asking for a purchase.
Structure Example:
Subject line: “The Pen That Started It All ✨”
Intro Story: “When I first started turning pens, I didn’t realize each one would tell its own story…”
Visual Hook: One great photo + caption (“Hand-turned walnut, polished to a golden finish.”)
Why It’s Special: Talk craftsmanship, material story, or what makes your pens different.
Soft CTA: “See what’s new in the shop” or “Discover your favorite design.”
Extras for new customers:
Link to your “About” page or a behind-the-scenes video.
Include a welcome discount or “first collector” offer.
Keep it light and personal — you’re inviting them into your world, not hard-selling.
Email For Previous Buyers (Already Trust You)
Your goal: nurture loyalty + spark excitement.
Tone: Familiar, appreciative, exclusive.
Goal: Make them feel like insiders — because they are.
Structure Example:
Subject line: “Hey [First Name], you’re the first to see this.”
Personal Touch: “You’ve supported my work before — and this next series might just be my favorite yet.”
Showcase New Collection: Photos + 1-2 lines about what’s new (materials, finishes, limited runs).
VIP Element: “I’m giving past collectors early access — 24 hours before public release.”
CTA: “Claim early access” or “Reserve your favorite design.”
Extras for past customers:
Offer a loyalty code or free refill with purchase.
Ask for feedback or photos (build community + content).
Mention upcoming drops, gift ideas, or collaborations.
Bonus Maker Tips
1. Write Like You Talk at a Craft Show.
Your tone should feel like chatting across the table — warm, descriptive, curious, and real.
2. Don’t Overload with Photos.
One main product shot or collage works better than eight. You want focus, not fatigue.
3. Avoid “Salesy” Formatting.
Large bold “BUY NOW” buttons can feel off-brand for handmade. Try subtle buttons, elegant text links, or “View Collection” phrasing.
4. Segment Your List.
Even if you have just 100 people, tag them as “New,” “Repeat,” and “Collectors.”Each group should get a slightly different tone or offer.
5. Always End with Gratitude.
Even a simple “Thanks for supporting handmade” or “Every sale keeps my lathe spinning” goes a long way.
Example Closing Lines You Can Reuse:
“Every pen I make starts as a piece of wood — and becomes a story in someone else’s hand.”
“Your next favorite pen might already be waiting in the shop.”
“Thanks for helping me keep the art of writing alive, one turn at a time.”
Prompt: "Handmade Sales Email Generator — Speak from Passion"
:::::START COPY::::
You are an expert marketing writer who specializes in helping handmade business owners (pen turners, artisans, crafters) write emotionally engaging sales emails that feel handcrafted, personal, and story-driven — not corporate.
I will give you a short outline about a new product, sale, or collection. Your job is to transform it into a full email (150–250 words) that sells by speaking from passion.
The email should include:
Opening Hook (1–2 sentences):
Start with a vivid, emotional image, question, or “imagine” statement that instantly pulls readers in.
Examples:
· “Imagine writing your next note with a piece of history — oak that once held 40 years of whiskey.”
· “Ever held something that feels like it remembers where it came from?”
· “There’s something about polished brass and dark walnut that just feels like legacy.”
The hook should:
· Spark curiosity or emotion (nostalgia, awe, pride, excitement).
· Lead naturally into the story behind the product.
· Sound handcrafted — like a maker speaking, not a marketer selling.
Story Behind the Sale (2–4 sentences):
Share the inspiration, materials, or moment that makes this piece or collection meaningful. Use sensory language (texture, color, scent, sound) to make the story feel tangible.
Clear Offer (1–2 sentences):
State what’s available or why it’s special (limited batch, seasonal release, custom engraving, etc.). Include gentle urgency — “limited batch,” “small release,” or “before they’re gone.”
Visual + Sensory Layer (sprinkled throughout):
Describe what it looks or feels like to hold, gift, or use the item — “the smooth glide of the ink,” “the soft satin wax,” “the faint scent of oak and smoke.”
Natural Call to Action (1 line):
Close with an invitation that fits the story — not a hard sell.
Example CTAs:
· “See the full collection before they’re gone.”
· “Find the pen that’s meant for your next chapter.”
“Catch this batch before it’s just another story told.”
Tone + Voice:
· Warm, confident, conversational — never corporate.
· Blend craftsmanship and story: emotion first, sales second.
· Sound like a real maker talking to a loyal customer, not a company newsletter.
Audience: Customers who appreciate handmade craftsmanship and storytelling.
Output Format:
Subject line (with curiosity or story angle)
Preview text (completes or contrasts the subject line)
Body copy (150–250 words total, with structure above)
When ready, I’ll give you:
Product name / collection
Material or inspiration
Any sale info (discount, limited stock, etc.)
Desired emotion or tone (e.g., cozy, bold, grateful, excited).
Then you’ll write a complete, ready-to-send email.
:::::STOP COPY::::
This is an Example Input:
Product: Hand-Turned Oak Pen
Material: Reclaimed whiskey barrel wood
Sale Info: Limited batch — only 12 available
Tone: Nostalgic and warm
You can also adjust the audience for new leads, stationary stores, corporate gifts program ect.
Example of Output
Subject: The Whiskey Barrel That Wrote Again
Preview: A story 40 years in the making — reborn as a handmade pen.
Imagine writing your next note with a piece of history — oak that once held 40 years of whiskey.
There’s a quiet magic in old wood — the kind that’s soaked up stories before it ever met the lathe. Each swirl of grain holds a whisper from the barrel’s past: laughter, toasts, maybe even secrets.
This week’s small-batch release was turned from reclaimed whiskey barrels — each polished by hand and sealed with satin wax. You can still catch that warm caramel hue if you hold it to the light.
Only 12 available — crafted one at a time, ready to find their next storyteller.
🥃 See the full collection before they’re gone.
Write It Like You Mean It
The best sales emails don’t sound like sales emails.
They sound like passion. Like pride. Like a maker who can’t wait to share what they’ve created.
Andrew’s message didn’t start out strong — but with a few tweaks, it turned into something magnetic. That’s the goal: to write like someone who believes in what they make, not like someone begging for a click.
Because here’s the truth: when your email sounds human, your buyers listen. When your story feels real, they remember. And when your words match the heart behind your work — that’s when they buy.
Your next step?
Try it for yourself. Open a blank draft and lead with curiosity instead of caution. Picture your reader holding your pen in their hand — what do you want them to feel? Then write from there.
Need help building confidence in your words?
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💬 Need help crafting your content, finding your story, or building a brand voice that sells? Book a free intro call—I work with makers who want to sell more by saying more.
And hey, let’s be pen friends:
Or just email renaealk@gmail.com if you’ve got a question.
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